Weekend of Storms

August 28, 2011
I have been eating and watching TV (Netflix…My So-Called Life) all weekend. Thanks to Irene I have been stuck in the house. So right now, I’m not hungry but I am searching for something to eat. I want iced coffee but I can’t have it cause I’ll be up all night. Listen to me. I will be up all night anyway. I want cookies and cream or Blue Bunny salty and sweet pretzel ice cream but we are out. So I’ll eat anything else in the house which, can be a lot. My mom is famous for her normally stocked cabinets.

I did go for a walk today but it was not enough. I need to get out of the house. This weekend wasn’t the only time I’ve been staying in the house. I stay in all the time. I have been driving with no destination. New York to Jersey to New York but think I need someplace to drive to. Someplace that wants me. Maybe someplace I could write. I’m so close to finishing.

I have been trying to plan a vacation but I have had no help from the other person. It has completely sucked the fun I have planning a vacation. Should have made uncertain plans during the commercials of Top Gear so I could call the place a dozen more times.

After this weekend I am believing it is better to be alone. I am and do better alone. I’m tired of people ignoring me instead of saying, “I hate you”. I’m tired of people saying they will be there for you when they will be but only when it suits them. I’m tired of not being able to give up. I’m tired of getting no where. I’m tired of men taking advantage of me. I’m tired of people asking am I all right like I’m not allowed to be anything other than happy. I’m tired of worrying about everything and I’m tired of not being tried. I’ll just live in my head, put it on paper, and make a story.

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